I don't think that moms actually want your opinion when they say, "what do you think?"
Keep your mouth shut Kari!
Monday, May 30, 2005
Sunday, May 29, 2005
I'd not be too happy if I was allergic to Dogs.
I think that there is one incident from my childhood that I remember with such complete clarity, and while many memories fill my mind and often there's mostly always a trigger that will make them come. However, the one thing that I do the most often--blowing my nose-- happens to be a trigger for this particular memory so I don't think I'll ever completely forget about it. (Sorry about that segment, all you English proffessors out there.)
Take me back, foggy memory screen......
It was my very first day in my brand new school in 2nd grade. Oh, that would have made it...1990? My class had 72 students in it, and two teachers. We made up grades 1 and 2. This 1st grade girl sat next to me, she had on dark turqoise stirrup pants (remember those?), a green and purple sweater with hearts on it, and a tall cone-shaped dark green princess hat with a pink scarfy thing hanging from it. It must have been some sort of dress up day, and I didn't get the memo because I remember feeling embarassed that I was just wearing one of my sweet hand-me-down outfits from when my cousin (who is 2 years older than me) wore it. So anyway, I sat to the left of this girl, and she covered her mouth and coughed. I very clearly remember her coughing up a green blob of snot, and without even thinking twice about it licking it up while her hands were still covering her mouth--if she'd done a better job, I think she would have sucessfully hidden the act. I remember thinking to myself, "self, why would she not just close her hand up and get up and get a kleenex?" And so now, to this day, whenever I blow my nose, I am reminded of this story. And I've got baaaad year-round allergies, so that's a lot.
Now, you're probably trying to find value in that little antecdote, and I assure you there is some. Somewhere. Maybe.....when life hands you mucus, lick it up. I mean, wipe it off.
Now, speaking of stirrup pants, I was golfing with my dad and brother today and I noticed something. I noticed that when I hit my driver poorly, I always think, "Man, I could have hit a 7-iron perfectly (because that is a club I typically hit well) and it would have gone farther than that." But then there are the times when I hit the driver juuust perfecly I can milk 220 yards out of it. And then I realize that no other club in my bag can even compare to that. So it makes me wonder if it's worth the risk to pull out a driver at most tees. I mean, there's always the chance (like 1 in 5 or so) that I will slam it. But there's always the other 4 shots that I could have hit another more comfortable club for a better shot.
So how does this relate to life? I think it all depends on what you want to take out of risks you make. It's easy to always play it safe--because you'll always wind out in the positive. I could easily play 9 holes with a 9-iron and a putter and score a 45. Three to four short shots to the green, a putt or two--it's the perfect plan. Or...I could take an entire bag of clubs and shoot a 49, or a 52, or on bad days a 61. But then there's those days where I make those long drives and come out with a 39. I know it's only a golf score, but why walk away with a 45 when I know I could have gotten a 39...maybe. Sometimes when I run a workout, I slack off and don't push my hardest--especially on speed workouts. But when I'm all done, and I'm not breathing hard or being tired I think, "I really could have pushed harder."
So maybe sometimes the road with the most reward (intrinsic or tangeable) is the more rocky one. Maybe it's the one with more ups and downs and twists and turns. Maybe the road to the prize is narrow....this is sounding familiar....
Last January I ran a marathon. It was my first one ever, and my goal was just to finish. I was training, and it was winter and cold and rainy and sleeting in my face and cutting my cheeks and I'd quite frequently consider just stopping and walking...or going to the bathroom at the next gas station for a chance to take a break. But the awful truth of the matter is that no one ever finished a marathon by stopping. And it's true. My theme marathon training verse was Philipians 3:14. Even though I'm not so sure that God had a prize waiting for me at the end of the marathon, it made me remember that sometimes things are hard. And sometimes you want to take a break, or take the easy way out, or mooch gas money off of dad even though you've been blessed with enough of your own.
Sure God gave me life, and Christ died for my sins--but that doesn't mean I'm home free. Nothing is free. Even a 39 in golf.
Take me back, foggy memory screen......
It was my very first day in my brand new school in 2nd grade. Oh, that would have made it...1990? My class had 72 students in it, and two teachers. We made up grades 1 and 2. This 1st grade girl sat next to me, she had on dark turqoise stirrup pants (remember those?), a green and purple sweater with hearts on it, and a tall cone-shaped dark green princess hat with a pink scarfy thing hanging from it. It must have been some sort of dress up day, and I didn't get the memo because I remember feeling embarassed that I was just wearing one of my sweet hand-me-down outfits from when my cousin (who is 2 years older than me) wore it. So anyway, I sat to the left of this girl, and she covered her mouth and coughed. I very clearly remember her coughing up a green blob of snot, and without even thinking twice about it licking it up while her hands were still covering her mouth--if she'd done a better job, I think she would have sucessfully hidden the act. I remember thinking to myself, "self, why would she not just close her hand up and get up and get a kleenex?" And so now, to this day, whenever I blow my nose, I am reminded of this story. And I've got baaaad year-round allergies, so that's a lot.
Now, you're probably trying to find value in that little antecdote, and I assure you there is some. Somewhere. Maybe.....when life hands you mucus, lick it up. I mean, wipe it off.
Now, speaking of stirrup pants, I was golfing with my dad and brother today and I noticed something. I noticed that when I hit my driver poorly, I always think, "Man, I could have hit a 7-iron perfectly (because that is a club I typically hit well) and it would have gone farther than that." But then there are the times when I hit the driver juuust perfecly I can milk 220 yards out of it. And then I realize that no other club in my bag can even compare to that. So it makes me wonder if it's worth the risk to pull out a driver at most tees. I mean, there's always the chance (like 1 in 5 or so) that I will slam it. But there's always the other 4 shots that I could have hit another more comfortable club for a better shot.
So how does this relate to life? I think it all depends on what you want to take out of risks you make. It's easy to always play it safe--because you'll always wind out in the positive. I could easily play 9 holes with a 9-iron and a putter and score a 45. Three to four short shots to the green, a putt or two--it's the perfect plan. Or...I could take an entire bag of clubs and shoot a 49, or a 52, or on bad days a 61. But then there's those days where I make those long drives and come out with a 39. I know it's only a golf score, but why walk away with a 45 when I know I could have gotten a 39...maybe. Sometimes when I run a workout, I slack off and don't push my hardest--especially on speed workouts. But when I'm all done, and I'm not breathing hard or being tired I think, "I really could have pushed harder."
So maybe sometimes the road with the most reward (intrinsic or tangeable) is the more rocky one. Maybe it's the one with more ups and downs and twists and turns. Maybe the road to the prize is narrow....this is sounding familiar....
Last January I ran a marathon. It was my first one ever, and my goal was just to finish. I was training, and it was winter and cold and rainy and sleeting in my face and cutting my cheeks and I'd quite frequently consider just stopping and walking...or going to the bathroom at the next gas station for a chance to take a break. But the awful truth of the matter is that no one ever finished a marathon by stopping. And it's true. My theme marathon training verse was Philipians 3:14. Even though I'm not so sure that God had a prize waiting for me at the end of the marathon, it made me remember that sometimes things are hard. And sometimes you want to take a break, or take the easy way out, or mooch gas money off of dad even though you've been blessed with enough of your own.
Sure God gave me life, and Christ died for my sins--but that doesn't mean I'm home free. Nothing is free. Even a 39 in golf.
Thursday, May 26, 2005
on independence
Out of the three older children in my family, I'm not quite like the other 2. My oldest sister has always been very driven, and she went to college in Oklahoma and graduated and moved to Tulsa. She has he own place and her own job and takes care of herself quite well. She bought her own car and all of that stuff that goes along with being an idependent adult.
My younger sister also went to college in Oklahoma, and she lives in an apartment and has two jobs, her own car, and pays bills and all of those things a responsible adult does.
And then there's me. I live at home, drive a family car, don't pay rent or any other significant form of a bill, and I have decided that it's time to leave the nest and jump out into the world. I graduated college, that was a big step. I've got a full time job at a hospital, and substitute teach when I can. But right now I'm trying to move to Oklahoma to be with my sisters and get a teaching job down there. It's really hard, though, because there are a lot of things that I don't know how to cover. I don't know how to fill out applications if my teaching certificate is still waiting to be filed. And I don't know where to go or who to call to make sure that I'll even be certified in Oklahoma in the first place. I call and call and get transfered over and over and I can never get an answer. And I can't really get much of anything done sitting up here in Michigan. But there's no sense moving to Oklahoma before I can get a job, when I have a well paying job up here. Granted, it's not a teaching job, it pays me well. So I'm at a standstill. I want to send resumes and test scores and letters to school districts, because I know that if they have those things they'll see how valuable I can be to their schools. But they want the applications filled out--and I can't complete them because of the questions I can't answer.
It's very frustrating, becasue all I want to do is move forward. I worked extra hard in school to finish early, I took all of my tests and scored well, I made a resume, got letters of recommendation, completed student teaching, familiarized myself with Oklahoma state curriculum and the individual school districts and buildings and cities. I can't be any more prepared short of doing my student teaching down there. I either have to just pick up and move and try to do things while I'm down there and pray that I'll get a job before I run out of money; or keep trying to do it from up here while I save up more money.
I know that God's going to provide, but it's hard to tell if that means he'll provide if I move down there with nothing; or if he's currently providing through my free home and job up here. I need to be in two places at once, and I can't. I need to know the right numbers to call so I don't keep getting the runaround about my certification. I need to just chill out, but I'm so afraid of things going wrong. I'm just stuck.
My younger sister also went to college in Oklahoma, and she lives in an apartment and has two jobs, her own car, and pays bills and all of those things a responsible adult does.
And then there's me. I live at home, drive a family car, don't pay rent or any other significant form of a bill, and I have decided that it's time to leave the nest and jump out into the world. I graduated college, that was a big step. I've got a full time job at a hospital, and substitute teach when I can. But right now I'm trying to move to Oklahoma to be with my sisters and get a teaching job down there. It's really hard, though, because there are a lot of things that I don't know how to cover. I don't know how to fill out applications if my teaching certificate is still waiting to be filed. And I don't know where to go or who to call to make sure that I'll even be certified in Oklahoma in the first place. I call and call and get transfered over and over and I can never get an answer. And I can't really get much of anything done sitting up here in Michigan. But there's no sense moving to Oklahoma before I can get a job, when I have a well paying job up here. Granted, it's not a teaching job, it pays me well. So I'm at a standstill. I want to send resumes and test scores and letters to school districts, because I know that if they have those things they'll see how valuable I can be to their schools. But they want the applications filled out--and I can't complete them because of the questions I can't answer.
It's very frustrating, becasue all I want to do is move forward. I worked extra hard in school to finish early, I took all of my tests and scored well, I made a resume, got letters of recommendation, completed student teaching, familiarized myself with Oklahoma state curriculum and the individual school districts and buildings and cities. I can't be any more prepared short of doing my student teaching down there. I either have to just pick up and move and try to do things while I'm down there and pray that I'll get a job before I run out of money; or keep trying to do it from up here while I save up more money.
I know that God's going to provide, but it's hard to tell if that means he'll provide if I move down there with nothing; or if he's currently providing through my free home and job up here. I need to be in two places at once, and I can't. I need to know the right numbers to call so I don't keep getting the runaround about my certification. I need to just chill out, but I'm so afraid of things going wrong. I'm just stuck.
Wednesday, May 25, 2005
The Procrastination Station
Sometimes I wish I were more humble.
That being said, sometimes I also wish I was more confident.
I'm pretty sure they're not polar opposites, so the contradiction between the two isn't because they mean the opposite, but moreso that the outer edges of their reaches tend to make us forget that they overlap somewhere in the middle. I think it's sortof like....a venn diagram maybe. Humility is on the left, and confidence is on the right. And in the center is maybe....meekness?
So maybe I should say sometimes I wish I was more meek.
Jesus was meek--that means it must not be a bad thing to strive for.
That being said, sometimes I also wish I was more confident.
I'm pretty sure they're not polar opposites, so the contradiction between the two isn't because they mean the opposite, but moreso that the outer edges of their reaches tend to make us forget that they overlap somewhere in the middle. I think it's sortof like....a venn diagram maybe. Humility is on the left, and confidence is on the right. And in the center is maybe....meekness?
So maybe I should say sometimes I wish I was more meek.
Jesus was meek--that means it must not be a bad thing to strive for.
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