Savvy Enterprising at its Finest

For a while now--since November 28, 2005 to be exact--there has been this idea hovering in the back of my mind to bring back the megaphone. My business partner and I have been strategizing day and night, pouring over product ideas, sales pitches, product drafts, costs, anticipated sales, spokespeople, target audiences, packaging, advertising, and jingles for our almost-patented megaphone; and also how to make healthy salads taste better.
It just hit me today that megaphone sales are probably at their alltime lowest right now with the rising sales of mp3 players and Chrysler automobiles. So this is probably the best time to act.
Without going into too much product detail--because we haven't patented anything yet--I think our strategy will be to target middle-aged women. We'll do this by putting the Oprah's Book Club seal on the packaging so everyone will buy them. Hopefully by word of mouth, we'll have some great initial sales. And then when Oprah finds out we used her name, we can explain on Larry King Live that we didn't intend to be false. And then when she calls the show, we'll explain that it was just a marketing plan and offer to send her a free one. (We could probably afford one revenue-less sale.) Once she sees how great it is, she'll want to endorse them for real. We will, of course, tell her it's not necessary because her name is already on them and we wouldn't want her to spread herself too thin. But by this time, sales will have already skyrocketed. Especially among the liberal college and middle-aged consumers. Even if it's not terribly good initial publicity, curiosity creates customers.

Oh man, I gotta call Eric and tell him the plan!