Like Sands Through the Hourglass. . .

Okay, embarrassingly enough, I am writing this article based on some thoughts spurred by today's episode of Days of Our Lives.

There is a storyline involving two characters. One is a genius-smart guy who entered the show as a huge nerd. The other is a smart, confident, and recovering rebel of a girl. As you may have guessed: he is in love with her, and she thinks he's a big dork. Their relationship has progressed over the past year or so, and he has stayed dedicated to her and has been able to eventually change her mind about him. The two have been dating for a while. He is incredibly addicted to her, and has compromised his morals on more than one occasion "out of love" for her. She is dedicated to him, but he always is afraid of losing her so he tries very hard to keep her.
Well, today, they got in a big fight and I guess they're broken up. She leaves, and he stays behind. And another character comes up to him and says "It's none of my business. . .but if you really love her, go after her. And fight to keep her."

And this is where the soap opera ends, and my thoughts begin.

I think that it's pretty safe to say that there is a common theme in the media that says as long as you're in love, if you persevere you'll get the girl. And this theme is based on the idea that girls want to be pursued. Girls like to be wooed, and swept off their feet.
Typically, in a movie, if the guy follows the girl after she's just dumped him they will get back together. If he shows her he's not going to let her go--that he won't give up on her (read: won't let the other guy have her)--than she will see this act of chivalry and come running with open arms.

But I watch movies like "You've Got Mail" and I think to myself, "if any guy ever followed me with such persistence, I would most definitely be freaked out."
I think it's important to note the difference between a girl wanting to be pursued, and a girl being pursued by a boy she wants pursuing her. If you are a boy, and you think that persistence will win you the girl, you have been watching too many movies. Because if you pursue a girl who does not want you, she will think you're creepy. I think that girls are very specific in whom they will allow to come after them. However, if you don't pursue a girl because you are afraid she'll think you're creepy, but really you're the guy she wants to be chased by, you won't win her either because she'll be too mad at you for not wanting her.

Confusing? Yes.

So here's what I think:

I think that girls aren't really in it for the pursuit. Because any girl will tell you that when she's not into a guy and he won't leave her alone, she wonders why the losers flock to her. I think that rather than being pursued, girls just want to be remembered.
They don't really want to be chased after, they want to be on your mind.
As a girl, I'd much rather know that you saw something that reminded me of you, than that you miss me so much you wish I was right there with you.
I'd rather hear "I miss you" than "When can I see you again?"
Girls don't want to be forgotten.
Even when the loser stops pursuing a girl, she'll wonder why he moved on so quickly. Did he forget about her for someone else? She doesn't want the pursuit, she wants to occupy the boy's mind.

So what to glean from all this?
Girls are confusing.
And don't forget about us--we want to be important: not desired.

Never Ever Ever Give Up

Since I was in high school I had dedicated my summers to learning a new skill. When I was a junior, the skill I wanted to learn was jumping in the air and clicking my heels. After I mastered that, I moved on to something I'd always wanted to do: ride my bike without using my hands.

I spent several summers following my senior year in high school working my hardest to accomplish this feat. I am not terribly good at balancing, and the best I could ever do was get about 3 pedal pushes in before I either hit something or fell over.

About 3 years after I had been working on my balancing act, I went to Huron County to stay the weekend with my friend, David, and his family. He and I went out one day and rode his parents' bikes around the town. We were out on the country roads, and his mother's bike was incredibly balanced. I slowly lifted my hands off the handle bars, and successfully rode for probably about a quarter mile! It was probably one of the greatest days of my life. I had accomplished my goal! I could not wait to go home and try it again on my own bike.

Until I got home and tried it on my own bike, and could not do it anymore! Devastated and defeated, I continued pouring my summers out trying to learn to ride my bike without holding onto my handlebars.
Sadly, this lasted another 4 years. 4 years taking us to last night. August 7, 2007. At Lake Hefner, Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

I had taken my bike out to lake to ride around it. I rode around it once, and coming up to the last 3 miles of my second lap, I started to get tired. I sat back up on my seat, and cautiously lifted my hands from the bars. I pedaled, and pedaled, and was still up! I was riding my bike without using my hands! I started to relax, and the path started to curve slightly. I shifted my weight and successfully took the curve. I started laughing, and clapping my hands. I looked at the miles markers as I rode past: .5 miles! I could not stop giggling, I was so excited! I yelled (embarassingly loudly), "I'm the greatest person in the world!" as I rode past the stake marking my 1 mile accomplishment.
I lowered my hands to the bars so I could stop to cross a driveway. And just to make sure I wasn't dreaming, I lifted them of again. I rode in front of the lighthouse. I rode around the curve, in front of the restaraunt. I rode past people jogging, rollerblading, walking their dogs, laughing and cheering the entire time. I am pretty sure I am officially a no-hander-bike-rider! Just like I've always dreamed!

It only took me 7 summers of trying. And I finally got it! Perseverance pays off, my friends. Now my next goal? I've sortof always wanted how to learn how to do the worm. I've got 2 weeks of this summer to get started! And I'll keep you updated! :-D

Hopefully this time it won't take me 7 years!