Like Sands Through the Hourglass. . .

Okay, embarrassingly enough, I am writing this article based on some thoughts spurred by today's episode of Days of Our Lives.

There is a storyline involving two characters. One is a genius-smart guy who entered the show as a huge nerd. The other is a smart, confident, and recovering rebel of a girl. As you may have guessed: he is in love with her, and she thinks he's a big dork. Their relationship has progressed over the past year or so, and he has stayed dedicated to her and has been able to eventually change her mind about him. The two have been dating for a while. He is incredibly addicted to her, and has compromised his morals on more than one occasion "out of love" for her. She is dedicated to him, but he always is afraid of losing her so he tries very hard to keep her.
Well, today, they got in a big fight and I guess they're broken up. She leaves, and he stays behind. And another character comes up to him and says "It's none of my business. . .but if you really love her, go after her. And fight to keep her."

And this is where the soap opera ends, and my thoughts begin.

I think that it's pretty safe to say that there is a common theme in the media that says as long as you're in love, if you persevere you'll get the girl. And this theme is based on the idea that girls want to be pursued. Girls like to be wooed, and swept off their feet.
Typically, in a movie, if the guy follows the girl after she's just dumped him they will get back together. If he shows her he's not going to let her go--that he won't give up on her (read: won't let the other guy have her)--than she will see this act of chivalry and come running with open arms.

But I watch movies like "You've Got Mail" and I think to myself, "if any guy ever followed me with such persistence, I would most definitely be freaked out."
I think it's important to note the difference between a girl wanting to be pursued, and a girl being pursued by a boy she wants pursuing her. If you are a boy, and you think that persistence will win you the girl, you have been watching too many movies. Because if you pursue a girl who does not want you, she will think you're creepy. I think that girls are very specific in whom they will allow to come after them. However, if you don't pursue a girl because you are afraid she'll think you're creepy, but really you're the guy she wants to be chased by, you won't win her either because she'll be too mad at you for not wanting her.

Confusing? Yes.

So here's what I think:

I think that girls aren't really in it for the pursuit. Because any girl will tell you that when she's not into a guy and he won't leave her alone, she wonders why the losers flock to her. I think that rather than being pursued, girls just want to be remembered.
They don't really want to be chased after, they want to be on your mind.
As a girl, I'd much rather know that you saw something that reminded me of you, than that you miss me so much you wish I was right there with you.
I'd rather hear "I miss you" than "When can I see you again?"
Girls don't want to be forgotten.
Even when the loser stops pursuing a girl, she'll wonder why he moved on so quickly. Did he forget about her for someone else? She doesn't want the pursuit, she wants to occupy the boy's mind.

So what to glean from all this?
Girls are confusing.
And don't forget about us--we want to be important: not desired.