My Third Grade Self

When I was in 2nd grade, I switched schools. I didn't know anybody at my new school, and I was in a class that had kindergarteners, first graders, and 2nd graders. There were 3 teachers (Mrs. Wilson, Mrs. Hagadon, and Mrs. Haff), and 73 students. There were a handful of other 2nd graders, but they were in the 2-3 split across the hall.
In my new classroom there were a lot of kids who had been at Webster for the last year, some even since kindergarten. They knew who was who, and without knowing it I relied on their wisdom to select who might be my new group of friends.

Stay away from Sara, they all said. She picks her nose. I remember thinking this was gross--although I, like every 2nd grader ever, picked my nose, too. Just not in public. But regardless, I heeded their warnings. I was never mean, she just wasn't one of my "regular" friends. I played mostly with Stefanie, Kelly, Julia, and Miti.

I remember in 3rd grade I got invited to Sara's birthday. She was a grade behind me, and I honestly can't remember too many times we played together or anything. I didn't really want to go, but I did. I remember thinking that I was going out of pity, like I was doing her some sort of favor.

At Sara's party, it was me and a girl named Abigail. She didn't go to our school, but I actually remembered her from Kindergarten. She was so cool--she wore a real Chinese cone-shaped hat for Halloween and eyeliner and a real Chinese robe and everything! Turns out, she was one of Sara's good friends. It was only us at the party. I got there and I remember thinking that it was a good thing I came, because apparently nobody else decided to.

Sara's parents took us to the Marquee Theatre, and we watched the play Jack and the Beanstalk. It was so fun! It was a really special and big deal to go to the theatre any time! And then her parents took us out to eat. When we got back to their house, we got goodie bags and they had the coolest things in them.

I remember leaving the party thinking it was the most fun birthday party I'd ever been to. And I remember thinking that I was mad at people for telling me not to like Sara the year before. She didn't pick her nose one time while I was at her party! I remember feeling sorry for her because if I went by the mean things everyone said, and how kids teased her, I would have thought she would be sad. But Sara didn't seem phased one bit.

Looking back on the entire experience I try to evaluate what kind of person I was. And I am convicted every time I remember the pride in my heart, thinking that I was doing Sara a favor by gracing her party with my presence. I am embarrassed that I let my peers influence my perception of someone who could have been a good friend. But I think the thing that sticks with me the most is that Sara invited me on purpose. She got 2 invites, and I was one of them.
Whatever kind of person I was in 3rd grade was the kind of person that Sara wanted at her super-special birthday party. I'd like to think I was the kind of person who was nice to everyone, and didn't participate in bullying. And Sara noticed.

Sara and I never became close friends. But I never believed any negative words I heard about her ever again. And I always defended her if I ever heard anyone talking unkindly. We went to high school together, and got to spend time on the cross country team together. And she was the kind of person who worked hard, and didn't let anyone bring her down.

I want to be the kind of person who doesn't judge people based on gossip.
I want to be the kind of person who people know will stick up for them.
I want to be the person who gets one of two invites because for whatever reason I was special enough. Because who I am made someone feel safe enough to want me around.

I am thankful that Sara couldn't read my mind or my intentions that day. And I'm grateful for the lesson she taught me about how others words can shape our impressions all too easily. And not always for the better.