Saturday, March 31, 2007

Oklahoma, OK.

Well, almost exactly a year ago I had come back home to Michigan from a spring break trip to Tulsa and The Alamo. Before I left I was working at Barnes and Noble and taking physics classes at Wayne State. I had also started subbing in Livonia, and had been frantically applying all over the Metro-Detroit area for open teaching jobs. While I was in Edmond for a short visit, I was hanging out with Becca and Eric Sharp and Becca mentioned that they were looking for summer care for Connor, Autumn and Dillon. She asked if I might be interested. To be honest, I was very interested because I was feeling rather slumpish up in Michigan. She and Eric talked about it and started crunching numbers and she said that she would get back to me.
I had been back home for a couple days and Becca called me and said that they weren't able to pay me what they had hoped to, but I could live with them and eat their food and maybe it might even out some. I said I'd do it, and that became the moment: the point of no return.
I immediately (rather than doing my homework, like a good girl) started researching jobs in Edmond Schools. I made sure all of my applications online were complete.
By April 21st (after I finished acing my physics final--2 weeks early) I had my car packed up, had a date set to meet with my best friend for lunch to say goodbye, and my map. I got in my car and started driving. That was it. I was leaving Michigan. My parents had been in Oklahoma for spring break with my brother. My dad wanted me to wait until they got back before I left. I didn't, and the truth is I wouldn't have left if they'd gotten home first. I would have let myself get talked into staying. So we made plans to meet at a hotel in Effingham, Illinois. Once I left that hotel the next morning, that was it. The first time I was leaving home, first time without my parents, first time out on my own. It was empowering, frightening, exciting, and so new.
Now to make some friends. . .
I kindof put myself out there and met a few people. I'm not terribly outgoing but I had people pretty persistently persuing (woo, look at that alliteration!) relationships with me. I was finding myself surrounded by many peers who I could laugh and hang out with. Oklahoma wasn't so bad after all.
Yeah, that was the honeymoon. About a month later, when I realized I didn't get to watch every Pistons game and that grass in Oklahoma isn't soft or green in the summer, and that I hadn't found a church I liked, and that my parents weren't around, and that I missed my brother--the Oklahoma wasn't holding a candle to Michigan. Everything I saw was not as good as Michigan.
Most readers of this blog have followed my journey from Michigan to Oklahoma, and it's no secret that I hold a grudge against the state of Oklahoma for not being Michigan. I don't need to go into much more detail about that. But as the one year anniversary of my move from the shoulder to the armpit, it's interesting to look back on everything.
A lot has changed. I have changed. My relationships have changed. I've gained some new ones, I've loosened some old ties, I've found a place for myself in a place that I don't really see myself belonging. I have realized that the Herron's are famous in this state. I've realized that I will probably never meet a boy who hasn't already had a crush on at least one of my sisters before even knowing I existed. I have realized that so many things are uncertain, and sometimes I have to force myself into commitments or I won't make them. As much as I want to leave, I know that I can stay here and be happy if I need to. I've got a good support system. I've got Jennifer--and she understands (and lets me sleep on the sofa bed with her even though both of our beds are perfectly empty and inviting). I've got soccer on Saturdays. I've got Becca and Eric any time I need them. I've got Niki and Matt if I feel like I need to get out of this place. I've got my church--where I'm not just a face. I've got the best group of 6th grade kids you could ever imagine (give or take one or two). I'm doing pretty alright. I'm doing pretty great. It's been a year, and I couldn't tell you where it has gone. I'm in Oklahoma. And I'm okay.

2 comments:

Unknown said...

the saddest part of that post was the you had lunch with your "best friend" and it clearly wasn't me...but i suppose i can allow you to have more than one best friend, or at least other friends that THINK they are your best friend:-)
love you!

Chris and Andrea Moyer said...

Hey, I have felt a lot of feelings that you described. I think everyone who leaves the grand state of Michigan to come to this armpit feels that way at some point. But, it does grow on you, and you find yourself developing a family here. I feel horrible that we haven't spent more time together while you've been here. If you ever want to grab a coffee and gripe about the weather obsessed bandwagon and reminisce about real snow just give me a ring!