A Journey: True Story

I have two sisters. Niki is one year older than I am. Kali is a little under 2 years younger than I am. As much as I love and respect Niki, I don't have much of a story to tell about the two of us. We pretty much got along well our whole lives. This story is about my journey with Kali.

I don't remember too much specifically about our childhood relationships except for the fact that Niki and I used to fight over who got to play with her. It must have been when she was little and cute or something. . .

Our story starts more when I was in 9th grade. 1998, to be precise. This was when I made the decision that I didn't really like Kali. I didn't like her because that entire school year she tried to copy the things I wore, and the unique style I tried really hard to create. Looking back, I'm sad that I thought I was creating any sort of style, but either way; it was mine.
I remember trying to say mean things to her that would make her feel bad, just because I didn't like her. I told her that her belly looked like bread dough. I made fun of her teeth. I teased her about her stinky feet. I was not nice.

Two years later, Kali was in 9th grade, which meant she was now in the youth group. One specific incident I remember happened in the summer after 10th grade when our youth group went to Uplift at Harding University. I had done a pretty good job of avoiding Kali the entire trip, but there was one night we all stood in a circle and had a prayer and I got stuck next to Kali. I had to hold her hand, and my entire body started cringing with hatred. I started crying and after the prayer I went over and talked to Mark. I told him that I was crying because I couldn't stand the thought of standing by her and holding her hand.
I was sick of her trying to be like me (which I considered copying me), and I didn't believe her when she said anything spiritually relevent. I didn't want to know about her personal life, and I didn't want to think she had the capacity to think deeply about things that were relevent to me.

Off and on, the next two years, Kali had some really fun friends. I think I stopped hating her, and more started tolerating her. I occasionally would still say mean things, but I didn't cringe when we sat near each other. I think high school was good for Kali, because when she made her friends they gave her new people to emulate, taking less pressure off me. I was dating a boy, and she really liked him. She and he would help me make school projects; and he and I would help her make hers (mostly in movie form).

When Niki went away to college, I was a senior in high school and Kali was a sophmore. Everything in her life started getting dramatic. She started getting her own opinions and deciding that mom wasn't fair about ANYTHING. I remember on two occasions Kali storming out of the house and sitting out on the driveway or in the treehouse. It was well after dark, and my mom looked at me and said, "go talk to her."
I went outside to talk to Kali, not knowing what I was going to say. I didn't even like her. I thought she was being ridiculous and childish. But I sat out there for probably an hour on each occasion and just tried to convey that I understood because "I've been there before."

I consider that a turning point in our relationship. Whether it had to do with actual "bonding" or just me growing up, from that point on Kali and I became pretty good friends. I looked up to her and her amazing hair. Her style sense far surpassed mine pretty quickly, and I started copying her. And she didn't mind. I got along with her boyfriends, and the three of us always had lots of fun.

Kali moved down to Oklahoma and pretty much became the most popular person on the planet. And I was so proud of her. I liked it when people knew me as "Kali's sister." I was grateful for her sense of style, and gained a whole new appreciation for her sense of humor and her wittiness. We shared many inside jokes, and generated many dances and renditions of everybody's favorite songs to perform for family gatherings. I look back on our journey (or rather my journey) and am a little sad to remember how much I truly hated her.

I am pretty sure that people prayed for our sister-ship, and I am pretty sure that God had lessons to teach us both through each other. I'm not sure what, if anything, I taught her. But I learned a lot about being a big sister from Kali. And I learned a lot about myself.

Now Kali and I are pretty much as close as we could get. We share clothes, laughs, jokes, and respect. I know I probably travelled a whole lot farther than Kali, but the journey we took to get us to where we are now is something that I consider one of the most important ones I've ever taken.