I have decided to start my own business. Using my own enterprise and capitalizing off of a skill which I proudly possess, I have decided to share with you my endeavors so you may benefit from it also!
I have decided to become a professional book labeler.
Here's my pitch:
Are you an avid reader?
A college student?
A teacher who loans out books to students?
An overly possessive person who is afraid to share?
Or do you just have a lot of books?
If you answered, "YES!" to any of these questions, then today is your lucky day!
I am offering my services to use a permanent marker and write your name on the edge of your books! That's right, you heard me! You can solve all of your personal property problems by simply having your name on the top, side, or bottom edge of the outside of your books!
No more wondering if that book is yours!
No more feelings of poverty, or like you don't have any possessions.
With your name proudly displayed on your books, everyone will know to whom they belong!
For $0.10 a book, I can solve all of your nameless book related problems!
For this simple skinny, shiny silver coin, you get the following:
- Your name, in large capital letters, uniformly displayed on the edge of your books.
- If you choose to label numerous books, each will be consistent with the next.
- Your name will be spelled correctly.
- You can choose what color you would like from a vast supply of Sharpie (TM) markers.
And now, for a limited time, if you contact me through this advertisement your price is only $0.05!!!! That's a steal, folks!
And here are just a couple of reasons why you want to hire me to label your books:
- You'll have more time to spend with your friends and family.
- You don't have to worry about tricky curved letters looking all funny and lopsided (remember, I am an expert).
- You won't have so suffer debilitating hand cramps from hours of book-labeling.
- You're supporting capitalism, and our economy.
If you are interested, contact me through this ad and I would love to talk with you more personally about our new partnership!
4 comments:
what a FABOULOUS pitch! you might want to consider marketing!
how was your pizzzzza??
Sorry, I've got a book embosser (sp?) with my name on it... great idea though... maybe I could pay you to use my embosser to label my books...
interesting business endeavor...
fyi: it wasn't regular poster board that i bought. it was a special matte board which was thicker than regular poster board. so it made the hat sturdier. anyway :)
LOL! If I still had a place to put all my books I would absolutely be hiring you.
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