Why can't I just be grateful for what I have? I have a job, a house that I don't have to pay for, I have food and clothes and parents who care for me. And so why do I need to move away so badly? Plans here in Oklahoma keep falling through and it's leaving me miserable. And I called my dad and he tried to explain to me that it's not my job to let people walk all over me and cancel things that I spend my own money on. And I don't know if I'm just being a sucker and letting my dad talk me out of things, or if I'm just being ungrateful and leaving for Oklahoma because it's what I want to do. But I've let myself be talked out of moving to Oklahoma since highschool. And every year I get a new opportunity that I let myself get talked out of to stay home. I really really really feel like I'm ready to move and I just want to start being idependant and things keep messing up. So should I just stay home again?
I'm so worn out. I don't know what to do. I just feel like I'm getting older and more tired the longer I stay at home and I'm getting worn out.
I just really don't know what to do.
If it was God's plan for me to be somewhere I'd know it, right? So how can I be so sure that I need to be in Oklahoma, but have everything blow up? How can I keep getting chances to come back every year, and when I finally decide to do it have it not work?
I'm so confused and frustrated, and frankly crushed.
I'm having a really difficult time discerning between parents who don't want to let go, and parents who aren't being supportive. I feel like it doesn't matter to them what I do with my life, as long as I'm living at home and helping out around the house as necessary.
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7 But we have this treasure in clay jars, so that it may be made clear that this extraordinary power belongs to God and does not come from us. 8 We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; 9 persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; 10 always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be made visible in our bodies. 11 For while we live, we are always being given up to death for Jesus' sake, so that the life of Jesus may be made visible in our mortal flesh. 12 So death is at work in us, but life in you. 13 But just as we have the same spirit of faith that is in accordance with scripture—"I believed, and so I spoke"—we also believe, and so we speak, 14 because we know that the one who raised the Lord Jesus will raise us also with Jesus, and will bring us with you into his presence. 15 Yes, everything is for your sake, so that grace, as it extends to more and more people, may increase thanksgiving, to the glory of God. 16 So we do not lose heart. Even though our outer nature is wasting away, our inner nature is being renewed day by day. 17 For this slight momentary affliction is preparing us for an eternal weight of glory beyond all measure, 18 because we look not at what can be seen but at what cannot be seen; for what can be seen is temporary, but what cannot be seen is eternal.
Hey sweetie! Don't let it get you down too much...I don't think right now as "children" we understand how hard it is for parents to let go and see their children grow up and move out on their own. I'm sure it's very difficult and we won't understand it till our kids start moving out and beginning their "own" lives. (I hope that's really far away) Just keep your chin up! Don't give up on Oklahoma yet, keep your spirits high, maybe God is waiting to put the perfect opportunity in your lap...and it just isn't the right time yet.
Keep applying for jobs here, at home, between here and home, just don't give up. Even if things don't work out for you to live in Oklahoma, who is to say that if you get a job in Michigan you have to live with your parents...you could stay in Michigan and live on your own.
It'll all work out! I'd love to have you in OKC though...especially since I'm moving there in August!
I hope things start looking up soon...just keep the faith and God will reveal his perfect plan for you!
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